Today’s post is sponsored by:

Bad Parenting. I know that…ok, I’m not gonna say it.  This is too easy. (*rethinks*)…aw hell, why not?  I know that R. Kelly is somewhere with a laptop and a bottle of Jergens.  There…I said it.

Ok…now, on with the blog…

Well…I am a man of my word, and I did promise you all a series on Black People vs Niggas, but I must interrupt myself once again to shed light on something.

Ladies and gents…whether we like it or not, come November…EXPECT A RIOT.  I know you’re like…that was random, but my boy and I was discussing this yesterday after the Celtics EMBARRASSED the Lakers.  We were just talking about riots in general, then we began to think.  This Presidental Election is a “catch-22″ for a riot.  Ok…let me rephrase that.  Barrack Obama is a “catch-22″ for a riot.  If Barrack wins, expect a riot.  I mean hell…West Virginia already hates him.  Even Fox Faux news fails to show this man respect:

I mean, if I had a choice to go to Iraq or be in the Secret Service in November…I would pray for the rapture.  Sweet Minty Jesus, Calgon me. [TANGENT QUESTION: Wouldn't it be perfect for Tupac to suddenly show up if Obama wins?]

Now…if Obama loses.  Expect a huge riot.  Hell…I already started picking out my Christmas gifts to loot if such things happened.  I’ma drive to LA a day before and just wait (as I stare at a plasma screen).  You know black folks are gonna lose their God-forsaken minds.  West Virginia would have fireworks.  Faux News would have the caption: “We Beat That Nigga.” All black folks would suddenly get a draft notice in the mail, and be sent to Iraq.  Kramer and Don Imus would rule the air and radio waves.  Rodney King would get beat again.  I mean a lot of things would take place.  Am I right?

You damn skippy I’m right!  So…(racist) white people, grab your coned hoodies, black people niggas…go window shopping now and get your bats ready, because come November…it’s gonna be all hell on the streets.  That’s my 15 minutes.

Enjoy your weekend.