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CAPTAIN JACK UP Strikes AGAIN. (*sighs*) Earl Simmons is facing his sixth arrest in 2008 after failing to attend a court hearing in Phoenix, Arizona on Tuesday. The 37-year-old was due to face a felony drug charge, but failed to show, prompting Commissioner Phemonia Miller to issue a bench warrant for his arrest. Jesus be an After School program for his troubled soul. How do you get arrested 6 times in 8 months? Are they giving him a week at a time in jail? Man…somebody help this dude. Hey, SouljaBoy…let him growl on a track or something. Geez….SMH.

Ok…now, on with the blog…

Once again, let me hit y’all up on how the format is gonna go this season (at least for this week):

• Mondays = Monolog Monday – where I will talk about experiences from my point of view, mixed with humor.
• Tuesdays = Real Talk Tuesday – (self explanatory)
• Wednesdays = Wild Wednesday – where I will talk about off the wall stupid and shameful topics
• Thursdays = Throwback Thursday - where I will be posting videos and articles about that artist(s)
• Fridays = Freestyle Friday – where I will attempt to do a wrap-up of the week in rap form

So, with that being said, let’s get this Wild Wednesday crackin…

Aight…I would have to say that Wild Wednesdays are the hardest. I was concerned about what I would talk about, but the Lawd used two homeless people to give me my topic today. Ironically, I crossed paths with these two homeless people three years apart. These are true stories.

Homeless Person #1: Ok…now I was leaving my friend’s house to go to Walmart. My brother was with me. For some reason, there was major construction on the road that we would normally take. It was all good tho, because we knew a quicker way (via Highway). So, we hit the highway. Our exit was coming up. As we were getting off on the exit, we prepared to stop at the stop light. Now there was a bank across the street, and it’s marquee showed the time and temperature. I’ll never forget it. It said “4:14pm” followed by “102℃.” We looked over to the left (no Tweet) and we saw this “homeless person” holding a sign.

[DON'T MISS THIS PART...LOL].

With confused looks on our faces, we noticed that NOTHING was on the sign. My outspoken brother rolled down his window and said, “Hey man…what the hell? Ain’t nothin on your sign.” The homeless man said, “Yeah, I know. I couldn’t afford a pen.”

*dead*

After we finished laughing, I had to give dude all of my pocket change. I felt so bad for my homie.

Homeless Person #2: Aight…I’ve been waiting to tell this story for a hot minute. This happened 2 months ago. I was on my lunch break. Hungry as hell, I was headed to McDonalds. Once again, I was forced to use the highway. I already knew it was hot as hell. It was 109℃ that day, and I didn’t have AC. You know it’s hot whenever you walk outside and get tired. Needless to say, I was pissed and tired from the fiery hell called outdoors. So, I got off on an exit and saw McDonalds in my view. Once again, I looked over to my left and saw a homeless person. This time, the “homeless person” didn’t necessarily look homeless. He actually looked like a college student. He was dressed up in “bummy attire.” As I got closer, I read his sign: “I’m not a bum. I’m just hot as hell.”

*flatlines*

I seriously had to park my car and LMAO because I would’ve been a danger on the road. I ended up talking to dude and he said that him and his boys did it for a joke and was gonna stop 5 minutes into it, but ended up making $175 from passengers. Dude was nice and actually broke me off with $5. So instead of going to the Dollar Menu, I was able to get a combo. Amen.

BEFORE Y’ALL LEAVE, CHECK THIS STORY OUT AND/OR SPARE ME SOME CHANGE